There’s a light at the end of this tunnel. Based on my “senses”, I’m going to theorize that it’s NOT an oncoming train. Maybe things are shifting a bit…
So, my mom is now in a nursing home. This has been something on the horizon for a little while. I was helping get shit done as I was able, given I am 10 hours from my hometown and the rest of my family. Kudos to my sister for taking care of my mom for as long as she did.
I thought I was dealing with it okay. I guess I was, because on some levels. I was able to help get things where they’re at now. On other levels… not so much. I took moving her into the facility harder than I thought I would.
I’ll just say that dementia/Alzheimer’s is about as bad as terminal cancer. You have to watch a loved one rot away. I’ve seen both happen now – a body rotting away from cancer and its treatment; a mind rotting away because the cells just don’t work like they should anymore because… I don’t know. And these things don’t just pick you just because you did bad stuff to your body or were a bad person. My mom was, while not perfect, a pretty damn good person. But dementia is taking her down anyway. It doesn’t care what good she did in her life. It doesn’t care that she was the family caretaker. It doesn’t care that she has people that love her. Just like cancer, dementia doesn’t care.
With her now in a nice facility – safe and getting the daily care she needs, there is a significant weight lifted from my head and heart. A new normal is settling in a little. Maybe I’ve turned a corner, for now. There are still things to deal with, but most can be worked out with the application of smarts and elbow grease. I have a little of that, and I have folks around me that got some I can tap when I run out.
Maybe I’m turning a corner… for now.
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Type to you later…
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Mind Racing 9 
So glad you have managed to find the care that your Mom deserves Scott. It is tough trying to run the affairs of a parent from a distance away. Pat and I know this first hand. Glad you are no longer lost for words and hope to read more of your posts soon. Have a great weekend. Allan
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Thanks, Allan. The only hurdle I have now is paying for it until Medicaid takes over. That is a bit of a maze to navigate, but a puzzle to solve is less sad and stressful than putting her into the facility.
I think the words are coming back. Some are, anyway. All I can do is keep moving forward and hope it becomes a more “onward and upward” path.
Hope your weekend goes well, too.
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So sorry about that, Scott! It’s so hard when we have to start parenting our parents, so to speak. It’s draining and sad. I’m glad she’s getting the care she needs. Be kind to yourself, and enjoy whatever moments of clarity she has to the best of your ability! Also, I don’t think I need to say that, but it’s always good to say it anyway – there is support out there, if you or your sister need it. Hang in there, friend!
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Thanks for the sympathy. It’s appreciated. This has been tougher than I thought it would be. I thought I was better prepared for this transition since it took a while to reach this point, but maybe not.
I’m getting through it, though. Now that my mom is in a long-term care place, there is some solace knowing that she is safe and as comfortable as she can be.
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There is much commotion about this in my family too. I have also a mother who’s dementing: just lies in her bed the whole day. We had a good mantle care with nurses coming 3 times a day, general physician once a week, 3 times a week household help for half a day and my sisters living nearby doing the rest. So she could stay in her little house. Till one brother came up with the idea that she should get a palliative sedation. We declined but he started to kick troubles. First he sent the housing inspection that found some issues (that the social housing company resolved). Then he insisted that she should be in a nursing home. We also declined and my sister went to see the peace judge to get custody of my mother (which was granted). Then he sent some welfare inspection at a time when he knew that nobody would be with her. They too found some issue with her being alone in her house, but how many times to they check up on people in a nursing home? That said and done. My sister was forced to take our mother in her own house. Story will probably not end there since he’s a retired civil servant and will probably use all the red tape in the book to get back to us because he didn’t get things his way. At least your family is pulling on one line.
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Wow! I’m sorry to hear about your troubles. The ailing mother is bad enough. Hang in there.
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