An Inspired Response

So, I just read this post by @millyschmidt where she talks about dealing with being rejected by publishers.  She writes about a pretty good process for getting through rejections – something that writers live with a lot.

So, anyway, I was triggered for some reason to write this…

The ultimate sword is forged when the hammer strikes the perfect spot on the cooling blade at the perfect moment in time. Then, and only then, can this blade transcend from an ordinary tool of utility and general purpose to the artifact that can slay the beast; the beast that is working to crush you and deny you the chance to live as you see fit. A desire to create such a weapon and the will to enter the forge suggests that you may have the recipe. The real question at this point, however, is not whether you can forge the sword. Instead, the question is do you have the drive to live for the opportunity to do so?  Only those that are willing to embrace the passion for just being in the forge will be given even the slightest chance for creating that ultimate sword.

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20 Followers… woo hoo???

I just noticed that I have 20 followers.  At first, I was like, “Very cool!”  Then I noticed something else.  I saw that one of the followers is me.  I don’t remember following myself, but okay… <shrugs>.  Then I noticed that 2 of my followers are the same person.  So, I guess, technically I have 18 followers.  I can’t count myself as a follower because I’m stuck with me O_O

It still feels good.  So, thank you, followers.  I hope you’re enjoying some portion of the stuff that gets out of my head and onto this electronic medium.  Feel free to let me know what you think of any of it.  I’m eager to learn what I could do better, and/or hear that someone likes what I do here… or a different opinion, some advice or random passing thought.  😉

Until next time…

The Waiting Game…

It’s both a good and bad thing that I am approaching the last week of my current source of employment.  It’s good because I have chosen to challenge myself and strive for a new career path that should take me into a continually lucrative future.  I am concerned that my current trade has peaked, and there might come a time – as I age – where being so hands-on will just not be possible.  I am hopeful that project management will be something that I have some starting skill at and that I will enjoy not just being a piece on the game board, but the guy that helps get the pieces into play to “win the games”.

Project management is something that I have observed for a major portion of my time as an engineering technician.  My interaction with project managers has been been little more than get the task, complete the task and report back for the next task in the time allowed.  I have formed opinions about what a project manager should be in that time, with those types of interactions.  I am rather eager to find out if I am even remotely accurate.  So, all good things I think.  I like to learn.  This should be an education.

The bad thing is that my usefulness where I am still has waned to effectively nothing.  For me, it is a difficult thing to sit idle and pass time that does not have, at least, some productive value.  Plus, I’m just bored.  I appreciate, however, the fact that my employer is willing to keep me on until the prescribed time in spite of being idle.  I’m hoping that this will help pass the time in a more productive manner 😉

My Muse… Fickle Bastard

 

So, how the hell do you train your muse?  I’ve been suffering from writer’s block, lack of motivation, no inspiration… call it whatever.  It sucks.

Can you train your muse?  I’m not sure.  I thought it might have been possible.  But now I just don’t know.

My desire to write seems to be in my daily batch of wants and needs, but the fuel I need to do it, lately, is lacking at best – even non-existent at times.

I can’t deny having some recent distractions, but I don’t think they are the cause any kind of major block.  It’s like my muse just took a giant dump and bailed  :-/

Trying to figure it out…

Just Passing By…

I wanted to make sure I didn’t go TOO long without a post…

I can’t say with any definitive reason why I have not been writing and/or posting.  I just haven’t been motivated, and I guess, I’ve been a little blocked.  I’m trying to sort it out, but the things that normally flash into that abyss I call my brain just aren’t flashing lately.  I come home from work “tired”.  I’m just not sure what it is yet, that’s keeping me shut down.  I’ll eventually figure it out, though.  I’m a problem solver.  It’s what I do. 🙂

Even my racing hobby with iRacing has slipped some.  I think similar illusive reasons are the culprit.  There is also concern over a friend who shares the racing thing with me.  He’s not even 50 yet and he is in the hospital fighting to recover from a stroke.  There are a lot of people wishing and praying for him.  I, personally, believe he’ll pull through with time, but I will not deny the shock I’ve experienced since finding out about this.  I guess it has to do with it being someone that is close to the same age and it’s someone that seemed healthy, active and well… just a good guy.  Crazy.

Like I said… just passing by.

Not gone, just lurking in the shadows at the moment…

Post Ass Whip…

Well that first week at the new job was an ass whip. But…  It was a good thing.  I like the new job.  The learning curve is MONSTROUS!!!  I’m gonna love some of the challenges.  There is so much to learn and what seems to be a good bunch of folks to work with.

There is much less angst going to work now.  Yeah, I’m kind of a wuss when it comes to dealing with new jobs.  I guess it’s because I want to make a good impression as soon as possible.  I want to be a valuable member of the team right away.  Some of it was the other big changes that came with the job, a longer day and a much longer commute.  I have less personal time during the week since I work a 9-hour day and have every other Friday off.  The Friday thing seems kinda cool, but I’ll have to get used to 10 hours at work plus about an hour round-trip.  I got very used to being 4 miles from work and having the opportunity to come home for lunch on a near daily basis.

I was actually looking forward to going to work today…

This weekend iRacing hosted the 24 Hours at Spa.  With the new job and a week out of town the week before, I had no chance to prep for this team endurance racing event. But Ridin’ Shotgun Motorsports put a car on the grid and ended up doing quite well.  There were some trials to be sure, but they worked out a podium (3rd place) finish.  Nice going, boys.  I can’t wait until the next endurance race.  I am definitely wanting to get back into iRacing.  I’ve… missed it.

Next on the list of shit to do is get the daughter to college.  I’ll let you know how that goes…

Later 😉

Wandering…

So, a couple things are on the brain…

First,  I have a family member that has been in a bad way for a bit now.  I’ve mentioned this before in another post.  Anyway, the family decided that this person needs more help than they can readily give to keep this person safe.  My family is getting older… and fewer.  This person simply has lost the ability to function safely while alone.  I was Home when the family had to perform one of the “rescues”, if you will.  It was pretty obvious to me that a bit more vigilance is needed.  So, this person is now in assisted living.  I know the place since I had a great aunt in there.  I personally think this was a good idea.  I’m hoping for the best, too.  The situation now allows for a bit of… healing for this person, or at the very least, a chance to enjoy the good times without having to suffer when shit just ain’t working.

It’s a different thing for me.  This person is one of the aunts/uncles.  This is a person that most of my memories involve someone that, while not necessarily perfect, was with it and capable and an active member of the family… a “not as old” member of the family (kid’s perspective, heh).  The grandparents and great aunts/uncles are a generation removed, and while I was close to all of them – closer in some cases,  I guess there’s an unconscious understanding that those family members are older; thus, their time with the family is more limited, and things like going into homes is… expected?  I hope I’m being clear, though I’m not sure.  I guess this person having to go into a retirement facility ‘hits a little closer to home’.  It has made me stop and think about some things for sure.

On to the other thing… maybe related on some levels?

I’ve been “wandering around” in my spare time.  I’ve had evenings after work where I’m just not sure what to do with myself.  Y’all know that I do the iRacing thing as a hobby.  I love it… but… I have not been involved in racing lately.  In fact, I’ve missed some significant races over the past few weeks.  It’s like I haven’t had the time I need to be ready and meet the requirements, and/or I just don’t want to spend the time.  It’s been truly both scenarios, too.  Obviously, real-life obligations have to take precedence over my virtual racing career, and I’ve had a few things to do in the evenings.  So, some of the time I spend is simply not there.

The other part, though – not wanting to spend the time, is the part that has me perplexed.  I guess I’ve been feeling a bit burnt out on iRacing.  I’m not sure why, but I have certainly been easily distracted by other things.  Part of the distraction is the feeling of being a little burnt out.  The other part, is the fact that I’ve had the opportunity to spend more time online with my best friend playing games and “hanging out”.  I’ve been having a lot of fun with that.  Since he’s not an iRacer, spending time with him is time NOT spending time on iRacing.  That is something I’ve been… okay??? with.

As silly as this may sound, it really is a dilemma for me.  I like to race.  I like a lot of the guys I race with.  I consider most of them friends.  I just have felt more compelled to hang out with my buddy of nearly 30 years.  Yeah, I’ve been friends with Matt for almost 30 years now… wow.  Maybe this thing with my one family member going into assisted living has got me more aware of the limits on time I have with my family and best friend.  So, I have definitely been more willing to give up time for iRacing lately, in favor of time hanging with Matt.

I hope the iRacing friends that read this understand.  I’m not gone for good, and I’m not mad at you guys.  I just have not gotten that wound up about either of the leagues over the past few weeks.  I’ve screwed myself out of racing in one league by not meeting minimum practice requirements.  And the Texas League on Thursday nights has been neglected because by that time of the week, I’m just not feeling it.  I don’t know.

My final distraction is Mind the Shadows.  I have been making some effort on the next chapters.  That effort, though, is not yielding fruit… yet.  I have been feeling compelled to write, but I have deleted and re-written a lot lately.  And I’m STILL not sure if I’m happy with it.  Anybody that writes will get it.  It’s been… frustrating.

Anyway, that’s enough bitching.  I promise to try and be more entertaining in future posts.  I just felt like I needed to one, make a post, and two, let folks know that follow this where my head has been.

Thanks for listening…