So, it’s been a couple of weeks since I bitched about not liking where the world around me was headed and how I was dealing with it (not all that well, I suppose). I’ve been trying to get my “rhythm” back, and that hasn’t been easy. I’ve been stressing about stuff at work and what I see in the news. It has really sapped my energy. Lately, I get through each day at work. Then I come home and flop.
With the ending of the holidays, “back to the grind” has reared its ugly head. The wife is an accountant, so she gets very busy this time of the year with year-end close. For me, it has been about learning to deal with trying to provide solutions in situations where my resources are intermittent, and my training has been minimal. That causes me much heartburn. That whole “wanting to do a good job and not fail” thing – being a professional and having a work ethic – kicks in pretty hard for me. The amount of energy I have expended spinning my wheels and then stressing about it has been considerable. Thus, the flopping thing.
I am trying to lean forward a bit now. I’m hoping to get my legs under me a bit so that I can get moving with things that have more meaning to me. Sorry, but the job just does not rank high on the list of family, friends, interests, and hobbies. I prefer to direct energy toward things like spending time with my wife and my friends, gaming and just enjoying life. I like my job, but it’s only a means to a resource needed to live, not much more. My work ethic keeps me going at work, and it keeps me stressed when I can’t find the traction I think I should have. But now I’m starting to make myself accept what is not directly under my control. I do all that I can do, and I just have to let what I can’t control be what it is. It’s not a great thing, but I remind myself regularly now that I’m doing what I can and will continue to learn. That mentality and some much-needed patience is starting to help.
Here’s to hoping I can get things to level off a bit.
I did have the gumption to write this post. I haven’t had that for a couple of weeks…
Since my last post, the gaming group and I did have a Game Night. It was nice to get back into that after a nearly two-month break. I’ll post about that soon.
Thanks for “listening”.
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Type to you later…